IELTS Writing Task 1: Bài mẫu Band 5.5 về Môi trường
Đề bài
"The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words."
Rainwater Treatment Process in an Australian Town
| Stage | Step | Description |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Collection | Rainwater falls on house rooftops and is channelled into gutters/drains |
| 2 | Filtration | Water passes through a multi-layer water filter removing leaves, sediment and particles |
| 3 | Storage | Filtered water is stored in a large underground storage tank |
| 4 | Chemical Treatment | Water is pumped to a treatment tank where chemical substances are added to purify it |
| 5 | Distribution | Fully treated drinking water is pumped back to households through a pipe system |
Bài viết gốc
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The process diagram below depicts how rain water is installed to be collected and then treated to finally be used as drinkable water in some town in Australia. Overall, it is clearly can be seen that the proccess consists of five sequential stages starting from collecting rain drops to ultimatley be usable in houses. Firstly, rain water slides into the drain from the house roof, through drains, rain water is shortly transffered to water filter, there where water is purified from pollutants and undesirable substances. After that, the filtered water goes through a pipe that leads to a huge square-shaped storage then immediatley go through another pipe to be treated. The water treatment includs chemical substances that are pumped to be mixed with water in order to be completly clean. After the box is filled to the top, purified water will be pumped to the house and ultimatley be utilized by human consumption.
Đánh giá từ Nomad English
Trả lời đề bài
6.5
Tính liên kết và mạch lạc
5.5
Vốn từ vựng
5
Ngữ pháp và độ chính xác
5
Nhận xét từ giám khảo
Bài luận này cố gắng mô tả tất cả năm giai đoạn của quy trình, nhưng bị ảnh hưởng nghiêm trọng bởi nhiều lỗi chính tả, ngữ pháp và từ vựng thiếu chính xác. Các lỗi nổi bật gồm 'is installed to be collected', 'it is clearly can be seen', và nhiều lỗi chính tả như 'proccess', 'transffered', 'immediatley', 'includs' và 'completly'. Cấu trúc câu đôi khi không rõ ràng và các câu chạy dài làm giảm sự mạch lạc tổng thể. Nội dung bao gồm các giai đoạn chính nhưng thiếu độ chính xác và phạm vi ngôn ngữ cần thiết cho band cao hơn.
Bài viết mẫu Band 9
Đây là cách một bài viết Band 9 trả lời cùng một câu hỏi:
The diagram illustrates the sequential process through which rainwater is collected from house rooftops and transformed into safe drinking water for use in an Australian town. Overall, the process comprises five distinct stages: collection, filtration, storage, chemical treatment, and finally distribution to households. Each stage plays an essential role in ensuring the water is fit for human consumption. In the first stage, rainwater falling onto sloped rooftops is directed into gutters and channelled through underground drainage pipes that connect all houses in the area. The water then flows into a water filter, which removes physical impurities such as leaves, sediment, and other particles, completing the initial purification phase. Following filtration, the cleaned water is conveyed into a large underground storage tank, where it is held until the next stage of treatment. It is subsequently pumped into a separate water treatment tank, into which chemical substances are introduced to eliminate harmful microorganisms and residual contaminants. Once the chemical treatment is complete, the fully purified drinking water is pumped through a pipe network and delivered to every household, ready for safe consumption.
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