IELTS Writing Task 1: Bài mẫu Band 8 về Xã hội
Đề bài
"The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevantYou should write at least 150 words."
Bài viết gốc
Nhấp vào văn bản được đánh dấu để xem gợi ý
The two diagrams compare the proportion of time spent by adult workers in a specific country on different activities over a 50-year period, from 1958 to 2008. Overall, it can clearly be seen that in 1958, adult workers divided their time roughly equally between work, sleep, and other activities. However, over the next five decades, there was a remarkable increase in working hours, a significant decrease in sleep time, and the total time allocated to other activities remained nearly unchanged. It is surprising that adult workers spent almost the same amount of time sleeping (32%) as they did working (33%) in 1958. However, by 2008, they slept 7% less (25%) and worked 9% more (42%), which represents a remarkable increase in working hours. As a result, the time they spent at home for relaxation increased from 8% to 13%. In contrast, the time spent going out with friends and family declined dramatically by one-third, from 19% to 6%. The most striking change, however, was the significant increase in time spent traveling to work, which quadrupled from 2% to 8% over the 50 years.
Đánh giá từ Nomad English
Trả lời đề bài
8
Tính liên kết và mạch lạc
8
Vốn từ vựng
8
Ngữ pháp và độ chính xác
8
Nhận xét từ giám khảo
Bài viết này thể hiện sự hiểu biết mạnh mẽ về các yêu cầu của Task 1. Câu tổng quan hiệu quả tóm tắt các xu hướng chính trong giai đoạn 50 năm, và các đoạn sau đó cung cấp dữ liệu chính xác với so sánh rõ ràng. Tác giả sử dụng các câu chuyển tiếp tinh vi và cấu trúc câu đa dạng. Các lựa chọn từ vựng phù hợp và mô tả. Nhìn chung, đây là công việc Band 8.0 vững chắc.
Bài viết mẫu Band 9
Đây là cách một bài viết Band 9 trả lời cùng một câu hỏi:
The diagrams present comparative data illustrating how working adults in a particular nation allocated their time between 1958 and 2008, spanning five decades.
Overall, the data reveals a fundamental restructuring of time allocation among the workforce. Whereas 1958 demonstrated relatively balanced distributions across work, sleep, and leisure activities, the subsequent fifty years witnessed significant polarisation: working hours expanded substantially, sleep duration contracted noticeably, and commuting demands intensified dramatically. Other leisure activities experienced modest adjustments, indicating that increases in work obligations came primarily at sleep's expense.
In 1958, work and sleep represented nearly equivalent time investments, accounting for 33 and 32 percent respectively. By 2008, however, work claimed 42 percent of adults' time—a nine-percentage-point increase—whilst sleep diminished to 25 percent, a seven-percentage-point decline. The correlation between these shifts suggests workplace demands intensified substantially over this period.
Subscientary changes merit attention. Home-based relaxation increased modestly from 8 to 13 percent, compensating partly for reduced leisure time. Conversely, socialising underwent a dramatic contraction, declining from 19 to 6 percent—representing a thirteen-percentage-point reduction. Most remarkably, commuting time quadrupled from 2 to 8 percent, possibly reflecting geographical workforce dispersion or increased transportation distances.
In conclusion, the fifty-year transformation fundamentally altered working adults' daily routines, characterised by intensified employment pressures, diminished restorative sleep, reduced social engagement, and substantially elevated commuting burdens. These shifts suggest contemporary employment patterns have imposed considerable lifestyle pressures on the working population.
Nhận phản hồi ngay cho bài viết của bạn
Hệ thống AI của chúng tôi chấm bài IELTS trong vài giây — với chỉnh sửa chi tiết như trên.
Dùng thử miễn phí