IELTSライティング Task 1: バンド8 エッセイサンプル — 社会
エッセイ問題
"The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevantYou should write at least 150 words."
提出されたエッセイ
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The two diagrams compare the proportion of time spent by adult workers in a specific country on different activities over a 50-year period, from 1958 to 2008. Overall, it can clearly be seen that in 1958, adult workers divided their time roughly equally between work, sleep, and other activities. However, over the next five decades, there was a remarkable increase in working hours, a significant decrease in sleep time, and the total time allocated to other activities remained nearly unchanged. It is surprising that adult workers spent almost the same amount of time sleeping (32%) as they did working (33%) in 1958. However, by 2008, they slept 7% less (25%) and worked 9% more (42%), which represents a remarkable increase in working hours. As a result, the time they spent at home for relaxation increased from 8% to 13%. In contrast, the time spent going out with friends and family declined dramatically by one-third, from 19% to 6%. The most striking change, however, was the significant increase in time spent traveling to work, which quadrupled from 2% to 8% over the 50 years.
Nomad English 評価
タスク達成度
8
一貫性と結束性
8
語彙力
8
文法の幅と正確性
8
試験官フィードバック
このレスポンスはタスク1の要件の強い理解を示しています。概要は50年間の主要な傾向を効果的に要約し、その後の段落では正確なデータと明確な比較を提供しています。ライターは洗練された遷移信号とさまざまな文構造を採用しています。語彙選択は適切で記述的です。全体的に、正確な報告と明確な組織を表すしっかりしたバンド8.0の成果です。
バンド9 モデル回答
同じ問題に対するバンド9の模範回答：
The diagrams present comparative data illustrating how working adults in a particular nation allocated their time between 1958 and 2008, spanning five decades.
Overall, the data reveals a fundamental restructuring of time allocation among the workforce. Whereas 1958 demonstrated relatively balanced distributions across work, sleep, and leisure activities, the subsequent fifty years witnessed significant polarisation: working hours expanded substantially, sleep duration contracted noticeably, and commuting demands intensified dramatically. Other leisure activities experienced modest adjustments, indicating that increases in work obligations came primarily at sleep's expense.
In 1958, work and sleep represented nearly equivalent time investments, accounting for 33 and 32 percent respectively. By 2008, however, work claimed 42 percent of adults' time—a nine-percentage-point increase—whilst sleep diminished to 25 percent, a seven-percentage-point decline. The correlation between these shifts suggests workplace demands intensified substantially over this period.
Subscientary changes merit attention. Home-based relaxation increased modestly from 8 to 13 percent, compensating partly for reduced leisure time. Conversely, socialising underwent a dramatic contraction, declining from 19 to 6 percent—representing a thirteen-percentage-point reduction. Most remarkably, commuting time quadrupled from 2 to 8 percent, possibly reflecting geographical workforce dispersion or increased transportation distances.
In conclusion, the fifty-year transformation fundamentally altered working adults' daily routines, characterised by intensified employment pressures, diminished restorative sleep, reduced social engagement, and substantially elevated commuting burdens. These shifts suggest contemporary employment patterns have imposed considerable lifestyle pressures on the working population.
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