IELTSライティング Task 1: バンド6.5 エッセイサンプル — 社会
エッセイ問題
"The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant."
提出されたエッセイ
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The graph below illustrates the amount of overseas visitors to three different places ( the coast, the mountains, the lakes ) in a European country between the period 1987 to 2007. The unit used in the graph is thousands.
Overall, the lakes had the lowest amount of visitors in the graph in 1987 by 10 thousand visitors in oppose the coast had the most number of visitors in the graph in 2007 by slightly over 70 thousand visitors. The mountains had the lowest amount of visitors in all the times visitors combined while the coast and the lakes were really close to each other in the overall amount of vistors nearly the same amount of visitors.
In the period from 1987 to 1992 The coast had the highest number of visitors by approximately 40 thousand visitors while the lakes had the lowest number of visitors by nearly 10 thousand visitors and the mountains were the middle between them by slightly over 20 thousand visitors.
In the period from 1992 to 1997 the coast also was the highest number of visitors by around 40 thousand visitors in meantime the lakes was lower than the mountains it was above 15 by littile and the mountains were above 25 but the lakes suprisingly rocketed and achived the mountains even went more by 30 thousand approximately.
Nomad English 評価
タスク達成度
6.5
一貫性と結束性
6.5
語彙力
6
文法の幅と正確性
6
試験官フィードバック
このエッセイはデータについての適切な理解を示し、3つの地域の訪問者数を比較しようとしています。著者は主な傾向を特定し、具体的な数値を提供しています。しかし、品質に影響を与えるいくつかの技術的な問題があります。句読点と間隔エラーが頻繁に現れます。スペルエラーには'vistors'（visitors）、'littile'（little）、'suprisingly'（surprisingly）、'achived'（achieved）が含まれます。'in oppose the coast'は'in contrast, the coast'であるべきです。いくつかの文は不自然な構成のために不明確になります。
バンド9 モデル回答
同じ問題に対するバンド9の模範回答：
The graph presents a comparative analysis of visitor distribution across three European regions spanning two decades, from 1987 through 2007, measured in thousands of visitors.
Costal regions demonstrated consistent dominance throughout the entire period, commencing with approximately 40,000 visitors in 1987 and fluctuating modestly before reaching approximately 75,000 by 2007. This trajectory underscores the coast's enduring appeal as a premier tourist destination.
Lake regions exhibited the most pronounced volatility. Beginning at approximately 10,000 visitors in 1987, visitor numbers escalated gradually, peaking at over 70,000 in 2002, before experiencing a sharp contraction to 50,000 by 2007. This pattern suggests significant temporal variability in destination preference or accessibility.
Mountainous regions demonstrated the most consistent growth trajectory. Starting at 20,000 visitors in 1987, numbers increased steadily to approximately 35,000 by 2007, representing stable but modest expansion over the two decades.
Comparatively, the coast consistently attracted the largest visitor population, maintaining its market position despite minor fluctuations. Lakes exhibited greater volatility, initially surpassing mountains before experiencing substantial decline. Mountains maintained intermediate visitor levels with predictable growth patterns.
In synthesis, regional tourism patterns reveal distinct preferences: coastal regions sustained the strongest attraction, while mountain and lake destinations demonstrated contrasting market dynamics, with mountains showing stability and lakes exhibiting significant volatility in visitor demand over the twenty-year period.
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