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IELTSライティング Task 1: バンド8 エッセイサンプル — 環境

Task 1 Band 8 環境

エッセイ問題

タイプ: その他

"The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words."

Rainwater Treatment Process in an Australian Town

StageStepDescription
1CollectionRainwater falls on house rooftops and is channelled into gutters/drains
2FiltrationWater passes through a multi-layer water filter removing leaves, sediment and particles
3StorageFiltered water is stored in a large underground storage tank
4Chemical TreatmentWater is pumped to a treatment tank where chemical substances are added to purify it
5DistributionFully treated drinking water is pumped back to households through a pipe system

提出されたエッセイ

ハイライトされたテキストをクリックして提案を表示

The provided picture illustrates how rain water is reclyced, processed and turned into drinking water in an Australian town. Overall, information given from the diagram below depicts rain water is collected from the roof of the houses and then it passes through many different steps, each with its specific function, before turning back as drinking water into houses. In particular, when it rains on steep roofs, water pours down on one side and it is therefore collected by a drain, which leads to a large underground pipe, connecting all houses. Water is then sent to a water filter, which roughly purify water from dust, pebbles and other bigger particles. Subsequently, water is collected into a giant underground storage, waiting to be sent into the water treatment tank. In there, chemicals are added into the water to make it potable. Finally, drinking water is sent back to houses through a piping system.

Nomad English 評価

総合バンドスコア 8

タスク達成度

8.5

一貫性と結束性

8

語彙力

7.5

文法の幅と正確性

8

試験官フィードバック

このエッセイは、雨水処理プロセスの各段階を明確な概要と論理的な流れで記述しており、高い英語能力を示しています。語彙の範囲は広く、複雑な文構造も概ね効果的に使用されています。ただし、冒頭文に「reclyced」というスペルミスがあり、「roughly purify」という主語・動詞の不一致も見られます。また「In there」という表現は非公式で曖昧です。概要文もやや冗長で不自然な構成になっています。これらの軽微な問題がバンド9到達を妨げていますが、全体的な質は高く評価できます。

バンド9 モデル回答

同じ問題に対するバンド9の模範回答:

The diagram illustrates the process by which rainwater is collected from residential rooftops and systematically purified to produce safe drinking water for an Australian town. Overall, the treatment process follows five clearly defined sequential stages, commencing with the surface collection of rainwater and concluding with the distribution of fully treated water back to individual households. Initially, rainfall is captured from sloped rooftops and channelled into gutters, which direct the water into an underground drainage network connecting all houses in the area. This water is then passed through a multi-layer water filter, which effectively removes larger impurities such as dust, sediment, and particulate matter, completing the primary purification phase. The filtered water is subsequently held in a large underground storage tank, where it accumulates before being transferred to an adjacent water treatment tank. Within this tank, chemical agents are carefully introduced to eliminate residual contaminants and harmful microorganisms, ensuring the water meets the standard required for safe human consumption. Once fully treated, the potable water is distributed to each household through a dedicated underground pipeline, completing the purification process.

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