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IELTSライティング Task 1: バンド8.5 エッセイサンプル — 環境

Task 1 Band 8.5 環境

エッセイ問題

タイプ: その他

"The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words."

Rainwater Treatment Process in an Australian Town

StageStepDescription
1CollectionRainwater falls on house rooftops and is channelled into gutters/drains
2FiltrationWater passes through a multi-layer water filter removing leaves, sediment and particles
3StorageFiltered water is stored in a large underground storage tank
4Chemical TreatmentWater is pumped to a treatment tank where chemical substances are added to purify it
5DistributionFully treated drinking water is pumped back to households through a pipe system

提出されたエッセイ

ハイライトされたテキストをクリックして提案を表示

The graph illustrates the process of transforming rainwater into drinking water in a city in Australia. Overall, it can be clearly seen that rainwater undergoes five sequential steps to become domestic tap water, ready to be used in the house. Firstly, roof drainage is installed for the collection of rainwater. When it rains, the water moves along the roof drainage, and pipes lead into the water filter. Next, the water filter removes basic pollutants, such as leaves and sediments, and begins the first step of water purification. After that, the water flows into a large square water storage tank and then inflows to the next tank for treatment. When enough rainwater enters the treatment tank, chemical substances are injected through a small device on top of the tank to sterilize and ensure the safety of water quality. Once the water is fully purified, it is pumped into the house as a source of drinking water.

Nomad English 評価

総合バンドスコア 8.5

タスク達成度

8.5

一貫性と結束性

8.5

語彙力

8.5

文法の幅と正確性

8.5

試験官フィードバック

このエッセイは、優れた言語能力、明確に組織された構造、プロセスの各段階の詳細な説明を示す非常に高水準の回答です。語彙は洗練されており多様で、複雑な文法構造が全体にわたって正確に使用されています。いくつかの小さな改善点があります。ダイアグラムを「graph」と誤って呼んでいること、設問では「town」と指定されているにもかかわらず「city」と書いていること、「inflows to the next tank」という非標準的な動詞の使い方、そして「sterilize and ensure the safety of water quality」というやや冗長な表現です。これらは非常に優れた文章における軽微な問題点にすぎません。

バンド9 モデル回答

同じ問題に対するバンド9の模範回答:

The diagram illustrates the five-stage process through which rainwater is collected and purified to supply drinking water to households in an Australian town. Overall, the process moves in a clear linear sequence, beginning with the collection of rainwater from rooftops and ending with the delivery of treated, potable water to each home. In the opening stage, roof drainage systems are installed to capture falling rainwater, which is then guided along channels and into pipes that lead directly to a water filtration unit. Here, physical contaminants such as leaves, sediment, and larger particles are effectively removed, marking the completion of primary filtration. The filtered water subsequently flows into a large storage tank, where it is held temporarily before being transferred to a separate treatment tank. In this final purification stage, precisely measured chemical substances are introduced into the tank to eliminate bacteria, pathogens, and any remaining impurities, ensuring the water is safe for human consumption. Once the chemical treatment is complete, the fully purified drinking water is pumped from the treatment tank and distributed to every household through a network of underground pipes.

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