IELTSライティング Task 2: バンド6 エッセイサンプル — 社会
エッセイ問題
"Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion."
提出されたエッセイ
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It is often argued that some countries invist in devolping highly specialised training centers to train its top athletes to achieve international sports, instead of facilitate and provide public training centers for everyone to use and to practice. In my opinion i think both ideas together can contribue a very successful achievement in international sports for the country.
Building highly specialised facilities by the country to train its top athletes can help the athletes to get an apropriate training, give them the chance to progress faster and to be qualified to win or host international compititions like olympics, for example if the country invists and build a large swimming center to train professional swimmers, it is highly likely for them to win and get medals in international compititions.
On the other side providing various sport centers for the public use will encourage people to train and practice all kinds of sports more which leads to gaining more athletes to represent the country, for example allowing and giving access to a young talented girls to practice their favorite sport like football, ice skating, bascketball and more will give them the apportinety to become a professional athletes who would benifit and represent the country.
In conclusion, i think both invisting in building specialised facilities to train the top athletes to win and host an international compititions, and invisting in providing sport centers for everyone to use to encourage and build more athletes could be benificial and counribue a highly international achievement in sports for the country it self.
Nomad English 評価
タスク達成度
6.5
一貫性と結束性
6
語彙力
5.5
文法の幅と正確性
5.5
試験官フィードバック
このエッセイはスポーツ施設投資の両方の視点を検討し、バランスの取れた結論を提示し、適切なタスク対応を示しています。著者はオリンピックと水泳プログラムなどの例を提供しようとしており、議論を強化します。しかし、複数のエラーが全体的な品質を損なっています。スペルの誤りには'invist'、'devolping'、'apropriate'、'compititions'などが含まれます。主語と動詞の一致エラーが'i think both...can'と'giving access to a young talented girls'に現れています。
バンド9 モデル回答
同じ問題に対するバンド9の模範回答：
Whether governments should prioritize elite athletic development or democratized sports access represents a nuanced policy consideration. I contend that a strategic, dual-investment approach balancing both priorities optimizes national sporting outcomes and societal benefit.
The case for specialized elite facilities merits consideration. Concentrating resources on professional training infrastructure—world-class venues, expert coaching, and advanced sports science—accelerates athlete development and enhances competitive capability. Countries like Australia and Jamaica demonstrate that targeted investment in elite pathways generates consistent Olympic medal performance and international recognition.
Conversely, public sports facilities produce substantial societal externalities often overlooked in elite-focused analyses. Accessible community infrastructure identifies talent across socioeconomic demographics, expands recruitment pools, and promotes population-wide health and fitness. Moreover, recreational facilities strengthen social cohesion and community connection—outcomes with immeasurable societal value.
However, these investments need not be mutually exclusive. Optimal policy integrates both dimensions: establishing elite performance centers within broader public infrastructure networks. This architecture enables efficient talent identification and development while maintaining equitable access. Countries like Germany exemplify this balanced approach—combining Bundesliga academies with extensive community sports networks.
In conclusion, the dichotomy between elite and public facilities presents a false choice. Strategic governments should embrace complementary investment, recognizing that sustainable international athletic excellence emerges from broad-based participation funneling toward specialized development pathways. Such holistic approaches simultaneously maximize competitive success and social welfare.
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