IELTSライティング Task 1: バンド6.5 エッセイサンプル — 社会
エッセイ問題
"The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant."
提出されたエッセイ
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This graph depicts the changes in tourists visits between 1987 and 2007 to these three places in Europe. It's clear from the graph, that generally the coast area have the highest number of visitors all over the years.
According to what is shown in the linear figure in 1987 period visitors first place was the coast with 40 visitor and in seconed place was the mountains with half number of coast's visitors and the lakes became lastly.
While the statistics have been changed at 2002 , the lakes sharply increased to be the first place by reaching the highest number of it's visitors, and the coast is the seconed.
Finally at 2007 , the coast speedly increased to be most place having tourists and the lakes dramaticlly declined to take the seconed place. The rules switched between coast and lakes numbers.
To sum up , the linear graph describe a constantly change in mountains visitors numbers , and sharply changes in coast and lakes visitors numbers.
Nomad English 評価
タスク達成度
7
一貫性と結束性
6.5
語彙力
6
文法の幅と正確性
6.5
試験官フィードバック
このTask 1の回答はグラフの主な傾向をカバーしようとしており、概要を提供している点は肯定的です。しかし、多数のスペルミス（seconed, speedly, dramaticlly）、文法的な誤り（coast area have, it's visitors）、不自然な表現が目立ちます。データの提示が正確でない箇所があり、IELTS Task 1で求められるフォーマルな文体が不足しています。
バンド9 モデル回答
同じ問題に対するバンド9の模範回答：
The line graph illustrates the number of overseas visitors to three distinct areas — the coast, mountains, and lakes — in a European country over a twenty-year period from 1987 to 2007.
Overall, the coast attracted the highest number of visitors for the majority of the period, although the lakes experienced a dramatic surge in popularity around 2002 before declining. The mountains consistently received the fewest visitors throughout the entire timeframe.
In 1987, the coastal area welcomed approximately 40 thousand overseas visitors, making it the most popular destination. The mountains received roughly 20 thousand visitors, while the lakes attracted the fewest at around 10 thousand. Over the following decade, visitor numbers to the coast dipped slightly before recovering, whereas the number of tourists travelling to the lakes began a steady upward trajectory.
By 2002, visitor numbers to the lakes had risen sharply to approximately 75 thousand, temporarily surpassing the coast, which received around 50 thousand visitors at that point. This represented a remarkable sevenfold increase for the lakes over fifteen years. However, this trend reversed in the subsequent five years: by 2007, the coast had reasserted its dominance with roughly 85 thousand visitors, while the lakes declined to approximately 50 thousand.
Throughout the entire period, the mountains showed only modest growth, rising gradually from 20 thousand to just over 30 thousand visitors. In summary, while the coast and lakes exhibited considerable volatility, the mountain area maintained a relatively stable, albeit lower, level of tourism.
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