IELTS Writing Task 2: Band 9 Essay Sample on Society
Essay Question
"Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion."
Original Submission
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International sports events require the most well-trained athletes for each country, in order to achieve this goal countries make an effort to build infrastructure designed to train top athletes. Although this policy can indeed make fewer sports facilities for ordinary people, investing in the best athletes is vital to develop competitive sports performances in each country.
On the one hand, building specific infrastructure for the best athletes is crucial in order to get better results at international sports events such as The Olympics or the World Cup. The importance of getting better results is that it creates awareness of the importance of sports in society and motivates more people to do a sport. In this way, investing in these developments can help countries to develop an integral sport policy that can benefit everyone.
On the other hand, one can argue that a negative effect could be that less infrastructure is built for the rest of the people. However, people who practice a sport in their daily life do not necessarily need some facilities to do sports. For example, people often use public spaces to do sports such as running or doing yoga at the nearest park to their home. So, for people who is not top athletes there could be some alternatives for sports facility that ,is not the case for training top athletes.
To sum up, I strongly believe countries should invest in specialised infrastructure for their best athletes because in the long term is going to generate more motivation to do sports, to invest in sports at schools and therefore to build more sports infrastructure for everyone.
Nomad English Assessment
Task Response
9
Coherence & Cohesion
9
Lexical Resource
9
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
8.5
Examiner Feedback
This is an excellent essay that demonstrates a sophisticated command of English and a nuanced understanding of the topic. The argument is well-structured with a clear introduction, balanced discussion of both sides, and a decisive conclusion. The writer employs a wide range of vocabulary and complex grammatical structures effectively. The few errors present are minor: a subject-verb agreement slip ('who is' instead of 'who are'), a punctuation irregularity, and a missing subject in the final clause. These do not impede communication but prevent a flawless score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
Band 9 Model Rewrite
Here's how a Band 9 response to the same question would look:
International sporting events serve as a powerful symbol of national identity and athletic excellence, and governments worldwide face the challenge of deciding how best to allocate resources to achieve competitive success. While some advocate for the construction of specialised training facilities exclusively for elite athletes, others maintain that sports infrastructure should be accessible to the general public. I firmly believe that prioritising elite investment is a positive development, provided it is complemented by broader public health initiatives.
The case for building specialised facilities rests on a compelling logic: international competitions demand athletes who have trained under optimal conditions. Purpose-built centres equipped with advanced biomechanical analysis tools, altitude training rooms, and dedicated coaching teams enable athletes to refine their performance to the highest possible standard. The remarkable transformation of British cycling — from relative obscurity to Olympic dominance — following the establishment of the National Cycling Centre in Manchester exemplifies how targeted infrastructure investment can yield extraordinary results. Such achievements, in turn, inspire widespread public interest in sport and generate economic returns through tourism, sponsorship, and media revenue.
Opponents of this approach argue that funnelling resources into elite facilities deprives ordinary citizens of opportunities for physical activity. This concern is legitimate in principle; however, it rests on the flawed assumption that elite and grassroots provision are necessarily in competition. In practice, many countries have demonstrated that the two can coexist. Furthermore, the construction of elite facilities often catalyses broader investment: training centres frequently include public-access areas, and the visibility of elite athletes motivates governments and private sponsors to fund community sports programmes.
In conclusion, while governments must ensure that public sports infrastructure is not neglected, the construction of specialised facilities for elite athletes represents a fundamentally positive development. The prestige, inspiration, and economic activity generated by international sporting success create a virtuous cycle that ultimately benefits society far beyond the confines of the training centre itself.
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