IELTS Writing Task 2: Band 6.5 Essay Sample on Society
Essay Question
"Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion."
Original Submission
Click highlighted text to view suggestions
Whether countries should only invest facilities and training on their elite athletes in order to win international competitions or give the same opportunities for all remains a big discussion. In this essay I will explain both views and why I think participation for all is the way which brings positive consequences.
Those supporting the first view believe that the odds to win are only high if the countries invest specialised facilities on their top sportmen. This is because, only athletes trained to reach the highest performance guarantee high scores. For example, it is known that China sends only its elite sportmen to compete in the Olympics and statistically, they usually win numbers of medals.
On the other hand, those who support sports facilities and training for all athletes consider that non-top ones can also have great opportunities to succeed. For instance, Diego Maradona, a Argentinian soccer player, never played in a professional field, on the contrary, he was discovered playing in an old field located in a poor village. This means that by providing facilities for all, gifted sportmen might be discovered and they can make history too.
In my opinion, as a supporter of the second view, I believe that permiting everyone to train and use sports facilities is the best way to achieve international sports. For me, winning is as essential as participation. Besides, this way leads to find natural talents among the local population, which is inspiring for others in similar circunstances.
In conclusion, although the two positions have strong arguments, I think that the one supporting facilities for all people is the one that can bring positive developments to achieve sports events. Participation and inclusiveness may help to find gifted athletes among ordinary people.
Nomad English Assessment
Task Response
7
Coherence & Cohesion
6.5
Lexical Resource
6.5
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
6
Examiner Feedback
This essay presents a clear discussion of both views and offers a well-defined personal opinion, which strengthens the Task Response score. The structure is logical with an introduction, two body paragraphs, a personal opinion paragraph, and a conclusion. However, there are noticeable spelling errors ('sportmen,' 'permiting,' 'circunstances') and preposition misuse ('invest facilities on' instead of 'invest in facilities for') that lower the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score. The vocabulary is adequate but could benefit from more sophisticated collocations; phrases like 'achieve international sports' and 'win numbers of medals' are unclear or unnatural.
Band 9 Model Rewrite
Here's how a Band 9 response to the same question would look:
The question of whether governments should channel resources into elite athletic training facilities or provide universal access to sports infrastructure is a matter of considerable debate. This essay will examine both perspectives before arguing that inclusive sports provision yields the most beneficial outcomes for society.
Advocates of investing in specialised facilities for elite athletes contend that international sporting success requires world-class training environments. To compete at events such as the Olympic Games or the FIFA World Cup, athletes must have access to cutting-edge equipment, sports science laboratories, and purpose-built venues. China's remarkable medal tally at successive Olympic Games, for instance, is widely attributed to its extensive network of state-funded training centres that identify and develop talented individuals from a young age. From this standpoint, concentrated investment maximises the probability of achieving podium finishes, which in turn elevates national prestige.
Conversely, proponents of universal sports access argue that restricting facilities to a select few undermines the broader social benefits of physical activity. Grassroots participation not only improves public health outcomes but also serves as the foundation from which future champions emerge. The story of Diego Maradona, who honed his extraordinary talent on the dusty streets of Buenos Aires before becoming one of football's greatest players, illustrates that exceptional ability can surface in the most unlikely circumstances. By democratising access to sports facilities, governments cast a wider net for talent identification while simultaneously fostering a culture of physical wellbeing.
In my view, the most effective sporting strategy is one that prioritises inclusivity. While elite training centres are undoubtedly valuable, their impact is limited to a narrow segment of the population. Conversely, accessible community facilities encourage mass participation, improve public health, and create a deep talent pool from which future elite athletes can be drawn. Countries such as Norway, which consistently perform well in international competitions while maintaining high levels of recreational sports participation, demonstrate that these objectives need not be mutually exclusive.
In conclusion, although targeted investment in elite facilities can yield short-term competitive gains, a more inclusive approach to sports infrastructure delivers far greater long-term benefits, both in terms of discovering hidden talent and promoting the health and cohesion of society as a whole.
Get instant feedback on your own essay
Our AI evaluator scores your IELTS writing in seconds — with detailed corrections just like above.
Try It Free