IELTS Writing Task 2: Band 7 Essay Sample on Education
Essay Question
"Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?"
Original Submission
Click highlighted text to view suggestions
It is a serious problem that there is an inadequate number of students who tend to select science as their major subject in universities in many countries. In my view, students may think that studying science has not a good career path. Also, this issue may deeply affect the international state of a country. The main reason why people do not think to study science is that they may see science as something unpractical, and potentially, they are hard to find a job when they graduate. Students are generally afraid that there is no employment opportunity after they graduate from university. Unlike engineering and business management, in which fields employers provide plenty of vocational positions for graduated students because there are lots of companies activating in these fields and universities may provide some practical training courses and internships. Students studying science have a relatively narrow way to walk, and may just be scientists. Moreover, although a successful scientist can get a massive bonus from some prizes, it is too hard to accomplish and is more likely to fail. Therefore, Students will avoid taking those risks and choose other subjects that are relatively stable and easy to find a job. This trend will eventually decrease the state of a country. Developing science can provide a strong and firm foundation for a country to establish a healthy and prosperous community. If there are not enough scientists, the whole scientific ability will decrease. Not only will the government pay extra money to other foreign countries to buy the required technology such as military equipment, but the public needs to spend more time and pay more effort to maintain the international standard production rate of a country. It is extremely dangerous that a nation easily suffers from a financial crisis and, finally, it influences the living standard of its citizens and causes damage to its financial systems. In summary, while science is regarded as a "useless" subject because of its narrow career path and low success rate, it is vital that the economic systems would be affected if a country develop without scientists.
Nomad English Assessment
Task Response
7.5
Coherence & Cohesion
7
Lexical Resource
6.5
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
7
Examiner Feedback
This essay presents a clear position with well-developed ideas on both causes and effects. The paragraphing is logical, with distinct sections for reasons and consequences. Lexical resource is adequate with some good collocations ('firm foundation', 'prosperous community'), though certain phrases are imprecise or unnatural ('decrease the state', 'pay more effort'). Grammatical range includes complex sentences and inversion ('Not only will...'), but accuracy lapses appear in word order, verb forms, and a sentence fragment. The conclusion attempts to synthesise but the final clause contains a subject-verb agreement error. A solid performance at Band 7 that would benefit from greater lexical precision.
Band 9 Model Rewrite
Here's how a Band 9 response to the same question would look:
Walk through any university campus and the pattern is hard to miss: lecture halls in the business school overflow while chemistry labs sit half-empty. This imbalance between science and other disciplines has become a global phenomenon, driven by economic pragmatism and sustained by structural failures in how scientific careers are built. Students are not, for the most part, hostile to science—they are rational actors responding to incentives. A degree in management, digital marketing, or data analytics typically leads to a recognisable job within a year of graduation. A degree in physics or pure mathematics leads to... more study. The academic career ladder in science is famously precarious: doctoral research followed by short-term postdoctoral contracts, fierce competition for permanent faculty positions, and salaries that rarely match those available in the private sector for equivalent levels of education. Beyond the economics, there is a perception problem. Science is often taught at school level as a body of facts to memorise rather than a practice of inquiry and experimentation. Students who never experience the thrill of designing their own research project may reasonably conclude that the subject holds nothing for them. The downstream effects on society are both predictable and alarming. Healthcare innovation slows when there are fewer pharmacologists and biomedical researchers entering the workforce. Environmental policy loses rigour when governments cannot draw on a deep pool of climate scientists, ecologists, and materials engineers. National security becomes entangled with foreign dependency when a country must import the expertise needed to maintain critical infrastructure. These are not speculative risks—they are already visible in countries where science funding and enrolment have stagnated for a generation. Bridging this gap demands coordinated action. Secondary schools need science curricula built around investigation, not memorisation. Universities should create hybrid programmes that pair scientific training with entrepreneurship or policy skills, giving graduates multiple viable career exits. And governments must treat scientific workforce development as infrastructure investment, funding it with the same seriousness they bring to roads, broadband, and defence. The students will follow when the path makes sense.
Get instant feedback on your own essay
Our AI evaluator scores your IELTS writing in seconds — with detailed corrections just like above.
Try It Free